In response to the daily prompt Carry

These days my coffee comes with a shot of guilt.
That hideous emotion that we all carry in some form, right?
For me, it’s the guilt of wanting to be happy.
I was the one who wanted out of the relationship.

I get the looks, the condemnation.
What’s wrong with me?
Why aren’t I happy now?
What changed?

The weight is unbearable at times.
I know it’s not all my fault.
Things change.
People change.

The perfect recipe to lose me:
Ignore me
Dismiss me
Treat me like a child
Isolate me
Ridicule me
Keep secrets from me
Negate my feelings
Tell me I’m wrong
Control me with guilt
Control me with fear

Is it any wonder that I changed?
The real surprise is that it took so long.
You ask why did I change.
I ask when did I change.
Maybe I never did.
Maybe you just never knew me.
And I forgot who I was.