In response to the Daily Prompt Witness
“Don’t look at me,” I whispered as I stood behind her, my hands on her shoulders. “I can’t do this if you look at me.”
“Can’t do what? Jay?” She tried to turn, laughed nervously.
“Roxie,” I sighed, my hands sliding down to grip her arms.
“Jay? Is this about that psychic festival? I wont make you go to another one.” She stepped away breaking my hold then turned to face me.
“It’s not that Rox.” I held her gaze as I shoved my hands into my pockets, watched as she realised what I was trying to say.
“This is silly Jay.” She gave another little laugh. “If it’s the whole Dee thing – ”
I shook my head, interrupted her. “It’s not.”
Did she want me to elaborate? I thought it was obvious? We hadn’t been getting along lately. She didn’t like most of my friends, hers didn’t like me. We couldn’t agree on what movie to watch, where to eat. She was annoyed that I didn’t want to spend hours shopping. I was annoyed at the way she left her dishes in the sink. Did she really want me to spell it out?
“Well what is it then?” She challenged with a toss of her head, her eyes narrowed in a glare.
“It’s us Rox, let’s be honest here.” I began.
“Yeah, that’d be a change,” she scoffed as she crossed her arms, her lips curved in a cold smile.
My eyebrows went up in surprise. “I’ve never lied to you Roxie.”
“No Jay, you save the lies for yourself.” She shook her head at me then crossed to the table to pick up her hand bag.
I didn’t say anything else and neither did she, I just stood there and watched her leave.
I never lied to myself, I was well aware of my feelings and the limitations they placed on any relationship I entered into. Maybe I was a fool to keep trying, keep hoping I’d meet ‘the one’. Maybe I was a liar since if I was being completely honest, I’d admit I’d already found her.