Dear E,

Words are failing me today, I’m so overwhelmed by emotion. I just have this fierce need to write to you. I keep staring at the date, wondering if I’ve forgotten something. A birthday, an anniversary? It could have been the last time we spoke I guess, the time of year is right. I never remembered the dates, when we met, when we parted, when we said goodbye. I made it a point not to remember because … remember? We were just having fun. Are you still having fun? I’m not.

Back then I was so young and arrogant, trying so hard to be sophisticated and mature. If only you knew that on the inside I was like an excited teenager, amazed that this cool, totally hot man liked me. ME! Not just liked, wanted. I think we might have used that other ‘L’ word. And the sex? Wow. I knew it was good at the time, silly me thought it would be like that all the time now that I knew. You weren’t my first, just my best. I’m adding to that. My best so far, because I live in hope of … well just in hope for now.

I don’t have much else to say. I hope that wherever you are my thoughts find you, a soft touch in your mind, a half smile for no reason you can fathom. Until next time.