Boys night! Me, Adrian, Mitch and Ben. Drinking fucking Ilegal Mezcal because from experience we know we’ll be pretty okay tomorrow. Unless we fall down, but that’s a different story.
“Alright you man hos,” Adrian said with a grin at us. “Raise your glass! To the man with all the taste and all the class.”
“All the luck you mean,” Ben yelled, partly because it’s loud as fuck in here but mostly because of the mezcal. “If I’d walked in the door first, I’d be the one Tammy was crazy about.”
“Crazy is right.” Adrian flipped him off. “My girl has standards you know, and you’re below them.”
Me and Mitch cracked up at that while Ben threw a wadded up napkin at Adrian.
“Fuck you Ads,” he said with a laugh.
“Best you’ll ever have,” Adrian shot back with a grin.
“That’s not what I heard.” Mitch shot me a side eyed glance, fucking trouble maker.
“I heard Jay was, wait let me get the wording right … a total animal,” he said in a high breathy voice. “While Ads was just amazing.”
Ben grinned at me. “Better warn Roxie, she might have some competition for you man.”
“Well if I had to choose.” Mitch gave us all a considering look then pointed at me. “Snog.” He pointed at Adrian next. “Marry.” Then Ben. “Avoid.”
“Oh really?” Ben acted offended and did his own pointing. “Fuck. Marry. Kill.”
Adrian threw up his hands.”Hey, why is everyone marrying me and kissing him?”
“At least you didn’t end up dead.” Mitch threw in. “I was just avoiding, not killing!”
“You’re a good prospect Adrian,” I answered his question. “Look how happy you are all settled with Tam. I’d marry you too.”
“I’m not marrying any of you fuckers,” Adrian declared then stood up. “Not without another drink anyway.”
That got a cheer from us all and a few minutes later he was back with a fresh round. We all sipped then Mitch was at it again.
“What about the girls,” he said.
“What about them?” I nearly choked on my drink when he replied.
“Tammy, Roxie, and Dee. Snog, marry, avoid. And go!” He pointed at Adrian.
“Well obviously,” he started then the words penetrated his mezcal fog. “Fuck,” he muttered and shook his head. “Dee, Tammy, Roxie. If I marry Tam I get to snog her all the time,” he declared triumphantly.
“No,” Ben laughed. “It’s a sexless marriage.”
“Well fuck,” Adrian glared at him. “This game sucks.”
“Yeah, yeah. My turn,” Ben was rubbing his hands together. “Let’s see. I think I’d have to snog Tammy because I couldn’t snog Dee, she’s … well she’s Dee. It’d be like kissing my sister. So I’d marry Dee and avoid Roxie. Sorry man,” he added, looking at me. “Roxie is a bit crazy.”
He wasn’t wrong and I just shrugged in agreement as Mitch crowed. “Oh my god, you’d marry your sister?”
That got us all laughing and I hoped we’d move on but my luck was AWOL tonight.
“Well I would totally snog Dee. I’d snog Tammy too but out of respect for Adrian I chose Dee instead and I’d marry Tammy. Agree with Ben about Roxie though, sorry Jay.”
Adrian laughed as I shrugged again. “You two are idiots,” he told them. “Don’t you know the crazy ones are wild in bed.”
“Okay, Jay’s turn,” Ben insisted and they all looked at me.
Fuck me, this was worse than any game of truth or dare. I stalled, sipping my drink. I couldn’t tell the truth, that I’d avoid Roxie, she was meant to be my girlfriend after all.
“This is stupid,” I said with a glare. “I don’t want to avoid anyone.”
“It’s just for laughs.” Mitch patted me on the shoulder.
“Yeah, we wont tell Dee you chose to avoid her,” Ben chimed in.
“Well fuck.” I shook my head and shoved my hand through my hair. I didn’t want to say it even as a joke. But what choice did I have? “Fine. Snog Roxie, marry Tam, avoid Dee.”
From behind me a voice said, “Oh that’s sweet Jay.” A hand with long red nails squeezed my shoulder. “I’d snog you too honey.”
It should have been one of those movie moments where everything went in slow motion so I could fully appreciate it properly. I tilted my head back and to the side to look up at the three woman standing just to my side. They were all smiling, so maybe they hadn’t heard me?
“I can’t marry you Jay, I think I’m going to marry him.” Tammy pointed at Adrian who smiled at her and beckoned her closer. She went towards him on unsteady feet and he pulled her into his lap where she landed with a little scream.
There went that little dream. My eyes locked on Dee who was not looking at me but smiling at Mitch and Ben as they greeted her.
Meanwhile, Roxie had pulled up a chair next to me and sat down. “Thanks Dee,” she looked over her shoulder to smile and give a little finger wave.
Dee’s smile was tight as she said, “Sure, any time.” Then took a step back.
“Aren’t you staying Dee?” Adrian looked up from Tammy to call after her.
“No.” She shook her head. “I was just delivering those two, I’m going.” She looked at me with a smirk. “Jay might not get his marry, but he can have his snog and avoid.”
They all laughed, everyone but me and Dee. I was too busy trying to decipher the look on her face and she was too busy walking away.