Sleep was not my friend. Sleep was a bitch goddess who taunted me with the promise of sweet oblivion then held it just out reach. Every time I started to drift off I’d hear a sigh, a moan, a whisper of sound, and my idiot dick would react, stand to attention, just in case he was needed. Fucking useless lump of flesh. I couldn’t even jerk off in case she did wake up and wander in and catch me in the act and, oh fuck! That was a little fantasy that I’d entertained more than once and almost had me losing control just at the thought.

I checked the time, thrilled to find five minutes had gone by since the last time I’d looked. Maybe I should go have a shower, a cold one. But what if Dee woke up and came in to use the bathroom and found me in the shower jerking off. Shut up idiot! First, she would hear the shower and wouldn’t come in. Second, cold shower, no need to jerk off. My cock thought otherwise, overambitious fucker.

Think about something else… yeah, that awkward scene with Billie. She had been hands on from the moment she walked through the door and all Mitch did was smirk and watch. Then Dee had gone to get a drink and Billie had slid closer to me.

“You should take off your shirt and I’ll draw a design on you,” she said, her fingers sliding under the sleeve of my tshirt.

“Ah no, that’s fine,” I replied with a nervous laugh.

“Oh come on Jay, be a sport.” She looked at me and bit her lower lip, letting her eyes drop and quite thoroughly eye fucked me.

“Mitch,” I muttered through my teeth.

“Yes!” Billie smiled and turned to Mitch. “Show Jay yours!”

Like I hadn’t seen it a thousand times before? Like I hadn’t been there when he had it done.

“Here you go Jay.” The fucker grinned as he pulled up his sleeve.

“Wow, so pretty,” I mocked and Mitch flipped me off.

“Go get my bag, I want to draw on him.” Billie gave Mitch a push and he stood up as she turned back to me. “Come on Jay.” She plucked at my shirt and got me in the ribs making me laugh.

“No, no,.” I fended her off. “It’s fine, really.”

“It wont hurt a bit,” Mitch said with a smile a he handed Billie her bag then the traitor walked away.

“I’m really good,” Billie purred as she pressed her hand to my stomach. “And later I could help you wash it off. In the shower,” she added moving closer.

“Ah no, I don’t think so,” I said with a quick look at Mitch and Dee who were happily scoffing my m&ms.

“But I thought you were the threesome guy?”

“What? No.” I shook my head in confusion. Why was everyone thinking that? Well not everyone, but first Dee, now this? Okay, so I’d done it in the past but not enough to be ‘the threesome guy’.

I stood up to go join Dee and Mitch and Billie was right there. “Well if you change your mind, we can always stay after the movie. Once Dee goes home.”

I hadn’t responded to that, just smiled and gone to salvage some m&ms. Then Dee had had the same fucked up idea, that I wanted her to go so I could do the deed with Mitch and Billie. Did I have ‘man-whore’ stamped on me somewhere I couldn’t see? I’d been pissed off by the whole thing and barely seen the movie, too busy thinking about what I’d say to Dee. Then the movie had ended and she’d been asleep and the fact was, I couldn’t stay mad at her anyway.

And there I was, back at Dee. So much for thinking about some thing else. I sighed and shifted my hips, looked at the time and congratulated myself on killing ten minutes.I tried counting by sevens, got up to two hundred and seventeen and heard a noise. Dee’s voice, was she talking in her sleep? Was that my name? Silence again then she swore, loudly and clearly.

“Fuck.” Then a groan followed by footsteps.

I watched my eyes barely opened as she went into my bathroom and the door closed. Eventually water ran and light flared for a moment as the door opened.

“Jay?”

“Mmm.”

“Your couch isn’t that comfy,” she said, her voice soft and a little whiny.

I really was a glutton for punishment. I flipped the sheet back. “Come on.”

My bed was huge, plenty of room for two but somehow we ended up touching from shoulder to hip, both of us on our backs. It was a special kind of torture as Dee’s legs slid against the sheet, bare now since she’d slipped out of her jeans before she climbed in beside me. I held my breath waiting for contact that never came.

I counted by nines, got to one hundred fifty three before her heavy sounding sigh interrupted me.

“Okay Dee?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah,” she answered with another deep sigh and since I wasn’t a complete idiot I knew she was lying.

“Come on babe.” I looked over at her, so close, her profile just visible in the glow from my alarm clock. “What wrong?”

Another sigh. “I was sort of awake when Mitch came back in.”

“What?” I said dumbly. I knew what she said but didn’t know how to respond. I went the ‘don’t know what you’re talking about baby’ route. “Sorry baby, we didn’t mean to wake you.”

Another sigh, this one more frustrated than wistful and she shifted, rolling to her side. “I heard what he said, about you telling me about your feeling.”

I did a rapid replay but I didn’t think Mitch had said anything incriminating. “That was nothing,” I dismissed around a yawn. “Just about how you’re my best friend and general I love you stuff.” Well, it was sort of true.

“Oh.” Did she sound disappointed? “That’s not how it sounded.”

“No? Well uh…” I trailed off, I didn’t want to lie to her but what could I say?’ I was going to tell you how amazing you are and how I want to be more than friends but you rejected me.’ I wasn’t that much of a glutton.

“Jay you know you can tell me anything right?” her soft voice was determined.

“Dee I… you know how I am, always looking for the perfect relationship.” Not realising I had it already. “Well I got this idea that we could be that relationship.”

“Oh?” I looked over but couldn’t see her, for the best probably.

“Yeah. After Roxie I just thought…” I couldn’t hide my feelings from myself any more. “Well I thought Roxie was the one at one stage and I was wrong.” So fucking wrong. “Then there’s you and me. We fit in so many ways, we know each other so well. I thought with that as a basis, why not have more.”

“You thought because we’re friends we should, what? Hook up?”

“No! Well yes, but more than that. I’m not explaining myself well,” I said with a sigh of frustration. Why couldn’t I just tell her I loved her and wanted her? Oh that’s right, because she wasn’t interested.

“It’s okay Jay, I get it.” Dee’s sigh wafted over my shoulder and her hand patted me reassuringly.

“You do?” I couldn’t wait for her to explain it to me.

“Sure. You love relationships, we were out with all these couples so you thought we could be a couple. You would have thought the same about Kenna.”

I could see the logic in what she said since I was known for being Mr Looking-for-committment. But she was wrong Everyone thought they knew me, I was the good time guy, the guy most likely to either be in love or in a threesome. I thought Dee knew me better than that though. Months of frustration came to a head in that moment, all the drama with Roxie, my own anger at myself for not seeing the truth sooner, both about Roxie and Dee, my disappointment that Dee saw me as mindlessly chasing a relationship just to be in one.

“No baby.” I moved before I thought, rolling onto my side to meet Dee, my hand clamping on her hip to pull her against me. “I would not have thought the same about anyone but you. You’re the one who does this to me Dee.” I ground my aching cock against the softness of her stomach. “You turn me on just by breathing. Fuck Dee, you turn me inside out and I don’t know what to do about it.”

I let her go and collapsed onto my back, my breathing harsh in the silence. I waited, expecting her to get up and leave or make a joke. I started counting by thirteen’s…

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