There’s a girl at the bar and I can’t look away. She shines like a diamond ring in a little blue box, all pretty and perfect and holding the hopes and dreams of some sap who’s gonna mortgage his heart and buy that fucking ring. Then he’s going to take a beautiful moment and make it better when he drops to his knee to beg, whoops, I mean ask, that girl to take his ring, take his heart, take him. To have, to hold, to love, to cherish.

What that poor schmuck doesn’t know, is that this girl is a heartbreaker. She doesn’t want his ring and his promises. She doesn’t want his love and devotion. She just wants his body, wants to use him for a little physical interaction. Never mind any personal distraction, no emotional satisfaction. Just a good hard fuck.

This schmuck? He wants to romance the girl, wants to worship her body with his. Wants to use his hands and his mouth,  his fingers and his tongue. He wants to bring her flowers and chocolates, take her dancing, feed her whatever the fuck food she wants. He wants to fall asleep to the sound of her breathing, wake up with the warmth of her against him.

I’m across the room but I might as well be on another planet. She knows I’m here watching her but she’s smiling at another schmuck, sipping her drink and tossing her hair. I don’t have to close my eyes to see that hair spread out under her head as I hold her down and fuck her. That moment is on constant reply in my head. I can see her riding me in my bed, straddling me on my couch, all good, hot images. But her under me? That’s the gold. Because after that time, we collapsed in her bed and she didn’t get to run away from me.

That time? I got to fall asleep next to her, wake up next to, make slow sweet love to her before the sun came up and her walls did too. But that’s another story. Now, I’m watching the rerun in my head as she’s walking across the room. Her smile is slaying me because it’s not just for me, it’s for all of her friends. I’m not special, I’m not ‘the one’, I’m just me. A dumb schmuck in love with his best friend.

Advertisements