There’s a man in the bar and he owns my heart but he has no idea. He knows I love him, but he thinks it’s ‘like a friend’, and right now, like a friend you fuck. He doesn’t realise it’s the forever variety.

I looked over at him where he was having a drink with some friends. Our friends. That was going to be a problem I knew. Because I was a liar. I had told Jay we could do this, not let anyone know, and when we were through go back to the way things were. Just friends. Go back to watching him date and fall in love? That wasn’t going to happen.

I made my way over to them, three ridiculously good looking men who looked up at me with welcoming smiles.

“What’s a nice girl like you doing here?” Adrian asked as he made room for me on the couch he was sprawled on across from Mitch and Jay.

“Heard there were some lame guys in need of a decent conversation,” I shot back with a grin and Mitch tossed a wadded up napkin at me.

“Haha,” he said with a sneer as I threw his weapon back at him. “More like you wanted to get away from some tosser at the bar.”

More like I couldn’t stay away from Jay. I shrugged casually. “I can neither conform nor deny the existence of a tosser.”

“Oh trust me baby, if he’s breathing, he’s a tosser. All men are.” Jay’s eyes caught mine and I wondered if he was remembering what I was. Him naked, kneeling between my thighs, teasing me as he stroked his cock slowly, waiting until I begged him to fuck me. Asshole.

“I wont argue with that,” I said with a smirk and took a sip of my drink to ease my suddenly dry throat. “What about you three? On the prowl? I waggled my fingers at Mitch and Jay. “And chaperone?” I arched a brow at Adrian.

“Nope.” Mitch grinned and bumped Jay with his shoulder. “Jay’s joined the dark side, we’re celebrating.”

He had told them? This was interesting! “Oh do tell,” I invited.

He shrugged and smiled a lazy smile at me. “Not much to tell. I’m just not dating for a while.”

“Don’t believe that.” Mitch shook his head. “He’s joined us Dee, got himself a friend to fu-”

Jay smothered Mitch’s words with his hand and for a moment I saw anger in his eyes. Then he blinked and it was gone. “Fuck Mitch, you don’t have to tell everyone,” he said with a light laugh.

Mitch muttered something I couldn’t make out then Jay gave a push with his hand and let him go.

“Hmmm, guess we’re not talking about that then,” I said dryly.

“Oh! You should play our game,” Adrian declared as he rubbed his hands together.

Across from us Jay groaned and Mitch said, “Oh you totally should!”

“I totally should?” I repeated sceptically. “What game?”

“So the three of us?” Adrian pointed to himself then the other two jokers, Jay had sprawled back in his seat while Mitch watched me with a curious look.

I nodded to acknowledge Adrian then he said, “Snog, marry, avoid?”

“Really?” I groaned. “What are you? Twelve?”

The three of them jeered and teased until I gave in. “Fine, fine!” I shook my head in disgust at the lot of them. “Well…” I gave them all a hard look then passed my judgement. I pointed at Jay and shrugged. “Snog.” I patted Adrian on the knee. “Marry.” Threw Mitch’s napkin at him yet again. “Avoid.”

“What?” Mitch protested instantly with a laugh. “You can’t marry Ads, he’s taken.”

“Right he’s obviously marriage material then,” I agreed. “I’m avoiding you because I know where you’ve been, so that leaves Jay for the snog.”

“Hah, you only win by default,” Mitch said with a pout.

“A win’s a win,” he said with a grin then opened his arms wide and smirked at me. “Any time you’re ready baby,” he teased.

We all laughed at the absurdity of it and I pretended I didn’t know how he tasted, how his lips felt on mine. I wanted so badly to take him up on his offer that I told them I had to go, people to see, places to go and I walked away. I wasn’t on solid ground, it wasn’t even rocky or uneven. No, I was standing in quicksand and it was up to my chin.