Find previous episodes here Hot Teacher
Sometimes you have to bury your feelings, try to forget the possibilities and just get on with life. That’s me right now, focusing on work not on feelings. There are cup cakes to bake, decorate and deliver. I’m working alone today, Cheryl was having a well deserved day off after the holiday rush, the radio is tuned to an active rock station as I scream along with Foo Fighters.
Screaming is good but even the radio station is against me as the song changes and I end up singing plaintively about love. It’s melodramatic and it’s not how I feel but I sing like it is. So of course I end up thinking about West and the Discussion because that was full of melodrama. Not ours, his, his past. He told me how he once dated another teacher and how his ex-wife and her friends, including Miss Green, spread rumours and lies about her and basically bullied her into leaving the school. So after West had been seeing leaving my house, he’d panicked. He said he didn’t want the same thing to happen to me so he kept his distance. Until last night.
Which had changed nothing really. He still had a vengeful ex-wife and gossiping work colleagues. And he insisted it was just spite, that she wasn’t still in love with him. She was angry over their break up but he didn’t go into detail about it. I didn’t blame him, we barely knew each other. I wasn’t going to tell him why my marriage failed wither, not at this early point in our… thing. Which may very well be a no thing now.
After West had explained I’d been understanding and appreciative of his discretion. I’d told him that I wasn’t sure what would happen next and he had agreed. He’d held me and we’d fallen asleep then like the last time I’d slept in his arms he woke me with his hands, his lips. We hadn’t spoken a word, soft breaths and broken moans the only language we needed. It was different than before yet the same. The same passion and connection but the intensity was off the charts. There were no teasing words, no dirty talk, and it felt like goodbye.
The next time I woke he was gone and I was running late. I managed to get caught up, was nearly ready to do my deliveries. Then I’d treat to myself to a BLT and an iced coffee for lunch before I came back to clean up and prep for the next day. Then it would be home for a quiet dinner, an early night, before I was back at work.
Would that be my life from now on? Cupcakes every day, my daughter every other week, seeing West at school functions and pretending we were strangers. It wasn’t a bad life, in fact it was pretty good. I owned and ran my business how I wanted to, I had a good relationship with my ex-husband, a wonderful daughter, great family and friends. I didn’t need more, I might like it, want it even but I didn’t need it. I needed my daughter to be happy, my business to be successful. They were my priorities and it was time for me to forget the hot teacher and focus on them. I could do this…